Inexpressible

I laugh at the time,
But later I cry inside.
[ If I ever cry on the outside, you’ll know I’ve broken:

Cracks in the armor…
Weak spots? Or hidden rivers of strength?

Truth flows unbidden from the crevices,
Crashing over walls, turning them to rubble.
Exposing every hope, every fear, every insecurity, with a mad rush of cleansing currents.

It leaves me naked and vulnerable…Is there any return back from the edge of insanity? ]

Winter Blues?

avoiding homework,
avoiding life

causing anger,
causing strife.

inner pain,
won't go away,

can't get out
of my own way.

there is no pattern,
no rhyme, no reason,

oh how I loathe
this endless season.