every time

Every time, I laugh it off.
Every time, though you don't see it, my heart breaks, even if only a little.
Every time, I doubt.
Every time, I wonder, what does it mean to you? What do *I* mean to you?
Every time, I want to kick myself for this weakness.
Every time, I go away angry at myself, angry that I'm so afraid.
Every time, I wish it would just go away. Then I wouldn't have to deal with it.
Every time, I wonder, is this worth it? Is there something more out there?
Every time, I want to give up. But I can't.
Every time, you do something that makes me fall all over again, and I forget all the other times.
Every time.